If you ever need signs that your quarterlife crisis isn’t over yet, here are three:
- You still don’t know what you want to do when you grow up
- You still can’t decide which city in the world you want to live in
- You want to move home and live with your parents at the age of 30
Well, I’m in the third bracket. I actually did just move home to my mum’s house, like yesterday. There are many reasons why, for example number 1 and 2 listed above, but the main reason is my RELATIONSHIP with my FAMILY.
Answer this for me. How important is your family to you on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being most important thing in the world and 1 being “meh, whatever”.
I shared this quote by by Eben Alexander recently, “In fact, there are really no “objects” in the world at all, only vibrations of energy, and relationships.” He wrote this after coming to this conclusion when he died. Yes, he died. And he came back. Then he wrote a book about it. He had to die to realize how important relationships are compared to other things in life but thanks to him, we don’t have to die to have this reminder for ourselves.
Why is it that family oriented movies tend to be big hits in the box office? Because we like the idea of family. Why is it that one of the biggest triggers of a quarterlife crisis is wanting to be married by 30? Because we want to start a family and be the head of a new family. Why is Christmas the biggest celebration in the western world? OK, fine, it is the shopping and gifting, but all the shopping and all the gifting is for your family.
Get the hint? We like the idea of family.
But for some weird reason, we avoid our family.
We move to different cities far away from the family, like New York perhaps, or Calgary. We prioritize work and friends over meeting up with family. We would rather go out to the hot new restaurant with randoms we don’t even like rather than having a big family meal at home.
All these are signs that we are clearly in denial. We are in denial that family is important to us. As young people we think it’s uncool to be tight with your family.
Hello, that was cool when you were 16 but it’s not cool at 26. Just look at your behaviour and answer these questions.
- Do you like movies like The Elf?
- Do you like Christmas?
- Do you like family meals?
If you answered yes to any of these, then there is a good chance that you are a family oriented person. Just accept it already. It’s OK to love your family. It’s OK to want to spend more time with family than friends. It’s OK to move home or to your hometown to be closer to your family.
What are you trying to prove by keeping yourself away from them? I don’t understand.
Why did I move home at the age of 30?
I moved home because I finally acknowledged the fact that my mum knows more than me and I have a lot to learn from her. I also can’t deny that she will die one day and if I don’t take every opportunity I have to learn from her now, I will never get that chance again.
I moved home because I realized that socializing with my friends gives me satisfaction but not at the same level or depth as hanging out with my family does. When I get to hang out with this little kid, it is a joy that lingers a lot longer than hangovers of stories about how crazy last night got.
I also had a hard knock recently when I realized that a friend had played me really badly and betrayed my trust. My family has done this before too, there are some stories in every family but getting burned by this person who I thought was a friend made me realize that you may think a friend is as good as family but simply, they aren’t.
Ain’t no shame in being a family person
There is no shame in loving your family and want to spend more time with them than randoms in your social circle. There are many cultures that live by the rule of putting family first. Be like The Godfather and do it too.
This year be unashamed about your family. Why don’t you…
- move back to your hometown
- spend at least one night each week with someone from your family, like a cousin, a sibling, a parent
- take a family vacation, no matter what your age is
- have a big family meal that goes on for 6 hours, on another occasion apart from Christmas
- celebrate your birthday with your family instead of at a club drinking magnums of Moet, unless your family is there with you
- get over your fear of commitment and start a family
Ain’t no shame. Blood is thicker than water.
And you know what? At the end of the day, the only people who will still be standing with you after the rollercoaster of your quarterlife crisis, is your family. So show them the love now.
Follow me on instagram to see candid pics of me with the family and other adventures. And check out my free Meditation course here!