“Is my marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?” I found myself asking this question over and over in my head during the last few days of the Coronavirus quarantine. If you’ve been wondering whether your relationship will survive the Coronavirus, you’re not the only one.
Thousands of people are wondering the same thing because they are also struggling in their relationships during the Covid-19 lockdown. The New York Times has even coined the term “Covidivorces”. Although initially, we all laughed that 300 couples filed for divorce immediately after coming out of quarantine in China, now it’s slowly dawning upon us that we might personally contribute to a similar trend in our own countries. And we are scared.
We are asking ourselves questions like, “Does my husband or partner love me enough to WANT to stay together after this is over?” and the scarier question which is, “Do I love my husband or partner enough to truthfully stay in this relationship any longer?”
You might also be wondering, “Is he emotionally cheating on me? Why is he on his phone more than usual? Is he texting his ex?” And again, worse is when your mind keeps wandering back to your ex and memories of the pure love you shared keep surfacing in your heart.
Why Are People Having So Many Relationship Problems Because Of The Coronavirus?
The specific questions that are coming up for you right now during the Coronavirus quarantine are coming up precisely because these are the exact topics that you have been trying to suppress.
Many spiritual thought leaders are saying that the whole reason that this virus has hit our planet is to force us to finally look at the stuff we’ve been trying to ignore and/or suppress, e.g. climate change, animal agriculture, and some say even political and economic corruption.
The Coronavirus effect on our marriage and relationships is the same. It is forcing us to see and face the problems we’ve been ignoring and suppressing in our marriages and relationships.
These problems range from surface-level things like you not liking how your partner chews his food really loudly, to some very deep stuff, like you not agreeing with his parenting style and how he disciplines your children.
The top 5 relationship problems that you are Suppressing
In my experience, here are the top 5 relationship problems that you most likely have been trying to suppress that the Coronavirus is bringing up to the surface:
- You are completely out of touch with how your partner really feels. You “think” you know how he’s feeling and you “guess” he’s happy in the relationship, but in reality, he is not happy and is starting to fall out of love with you.
- You’re telling yourself that you guys are in a “good place” right now and you really believe it, but the undercurrent of dissatisfaction surfaces now and again in explosive fights.
- You’re lying to yourself that you are both happy in your relationship because it’s easier than having to think about all the things you’ll have to do and wonder about where you’ll go if you had to split up.
- You have the completely wrong idea of why your partner is upset and unhappy to be in a relationship with you. You have asked him questions, you’ve done your best to guess what is making him unhappy, but the real reason has been completely hidden from you.
- You have been very cruel and hurtful to your partner. A part of you knows this and you’re ashamed about this but it’s easier to ignore your behaviour than to truly say sorry.
Before I tell you how to address each of these problems, let me tell you a bit more about how the Coronavirus is forcing us to face the issues that we’re trying to ignore.
Coronavirus, Marriage Problems, and Karma
Actually, the Youtube Channel, Dharma Speaks explains it well in this video.
In summary:
The world is facing the same calamity but in reality each of us is individually dealing with the same calamity in a completely different way. The cosmic order is being recalibrated and what this means for each one of us is that our own individual Dharma is being reestablished.
If we look at the effects of this global crisis everybody has been forced into different challenges. Some are having to face the fear of death and realize the precious nature of life. Others are having to come to terms with immense financial difficulties and some are having to deal with prolonged social isolation.
Such challenges are specifically designed to bring each one of us back to our innate purpose they come about to make us reflect and see what is important.
They are there to make us face the issues we have suppressed or denied.
Life is constantly trying to make us more spiritually conscious and live in line with the reason we have been born but why we might ask does this have to be done in such a harsh way? Why can’t there be a more direct and easier method with which to learn?
The truth is transformation will only happen when we are challenged.
Dharma Speaks Youtube Channel
Let me echo that last sentence. The truth is transformation will only happen when we are challenged.
The Corona quarantine is challenging us. It’s extremely difficult to spend this much time with our partners and with no one else to distract us or take the edge off. It’s downright painful.
It is because of this pain that we’ll finally breakthrough our own resistance is facing the deep issues in our marriages and relationships. This pain is ultimately what will save our marriage and relationships.
Is my marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?
Coming back to my original question, “Is your marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?” The answer is, yes, it is – but only if you take the following 3 steps. certain steps to help .
Your marriage will survive the Covid-19 quarantine if you:
- Look at the problems in your relationship that you’re trying to suppress instead of pretending they are not there.
- Reach out to someone you trust for help and advice and/or go to couples counseling immediately. Luckily this can be done online.
- Have the courage to ask your partner what’s wrong and be ready to see and feel how you might have hurt him. Once you truly feel his pain, have the courage to say sorry and mean it.
To address the 5 main relationship problems that you are likely suppressing, that the Coronavirus is trying to bring up for you, you have to follow the 3 steps above. Start with the second step – that’s what I did.
When I started to really ask myself, “Is my marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?” I reached out to my dad and asked him for advice. Not everyone has a trusted and open relationship with their dad or mom so this might not be possible for you, but take this step anyway.
Reach out for help.
Ask your friends for a recommendation for a couples counselor and go for a session together with your partner. It takes strength to ask someone for help. You are strong and you can do this.
You will survive the Coronavirus and so will your marriage and your relationship.
Stay healthy, stay well.
Do you have a friend who is having a hard time in their relationship during the quarantine? Forward this to them.
