Sexuality – The Lifester | Karma & Relationships

Do your sexuality and past sexual experiences create negative Karma and have an effect on your current relationships, health, and life success? I have been thinking about this topic intensely for the last few weeks and I share my personal story about how my sexuality and Karma affected each other at the end of this post. What I have learned through my research and exploration might shock you. Yes, your sexuality and past sexual experiences do create Karma but it is not always "bad" Karma. The intention behind your past sexual acts with other people is what determines whether your Karma is good or bad. Were you using sex to take advantage of someone? If yes, then you created a lot of bad Karma for yourself. If it was consensual and mutually pleasurable, and you gave as much as you took in that sexual exchange, then you created good Karma or neutralized your previous Karmic debt with that person. How Does Having Sex Create Karma? Every single relationship you engage in creates Karma. It could also be that you're in a new relationship because of the past Karma you have with someone. This applies to casual sexual relationships, one night stands, long-term relationships, and even relationships within the workplace and your extended family and friends network. So yes, having sex creates Karma. Having sex can also burn old Karma. Now, how does that work? Let's say in your past life you were with someone and you were a "taker". You always took more than you gave. You were happy to finish first without putting in the work to help your partner finish. You wanted it more often than your partner did and they felt pressured to please you all the time. Now in this life, you have come together again with the same soul and finally, you get a chance to pay back everything extra that you took. This time around, you do it differently. This time you serve the other person first. You spend the extra time to pleasure your partner and you do it selflessly without thinking about when it will be your turn. In this way, you pay back and neutralize your old Karma with that person. How Does Having Sex Create Negative Karma Any time that there is even a hint of (non-consensual) violence and one-sidedness in sex, it creates a lot of bad Karma. This obviously applies to rape and pedophilia and also to marital rape and other forms of coercive sex. In these cases the Karma is very heavy. You can also create light Karma when you use sex to manipulate someone, hurt someone's feelings, or just have a bad intention about how you use sex. Is it Karmically or Spiritually Bad To Be Very Sexual? No, it is not Karmically or spiritually "bad" to be sexual. Some of the most spiritual people I know are very sexual, in the sense that they carry a lot of sexual charm. They have a lot of sex appeal. To me, sex appeal means that their personality appeals to the innermost primal part of your consciousness. This is very sexual and somehow very pure at the same time because it's just so intense. If you look at some of the gods and goddesses in Hindu and Greek mythology, you can't deny their sex appeal. Take Aphrodite and Apollo for example, or Parvati and Shiva. Having a lot of sexuality or a little is very individual. For example, some people have a big appetite for food and some people don't really. It's similar with sexuality and we shouldn't judge it. In spirituality, people often have a belief that being sexual is bad. I don't believe this anymore. Having harsh judgements towards ourselves for being sexual can cause a lot of problems physically, emotionally, and psychologically. These problems act as blocks in your life to keep you from moving forward, finding meaningful work and/or your life purpose, and feeling fulfilled in life. I have personally had intense physical illnesses because I judged myself for being sexual. My self-judgement has also held me back in my work and creativity. I'll share my personal story below so keep reading. Is Sex Karmically And Spiritually Pure? Yes, sex can be spiritually very pure. Like I said above, when you have sex, if you come at it with the attitude of giving rather than taking, then it can be a very pure experience. That's why it's called making Love. Can you think of anything purer than Love? Just think of when you had sex with someone you loved very much, and they loved you back. Don't discount the physical pleasure and think of the emotional and spiritual feelings you got as well. Wasn't there purity in that interaction? Wasn't there vulnerability and innocence in it? There are great lessons we can learn from saints about the connection of sexuality and spirituality. My favorite saints in this area are: Saint Mary of EgyptMary MagdaleneSaint Kanhopatra My Personal Story About How Judging My Sexuality Held Me Back For years, I had judged myself for my sexuality and had tried to push it down. I rejected this part of me completely. This caused some serious health issues in my body. I developed vulvodynia, which is chronic pain in the vulva, that lasted for months. This is a common but not so often talked about health condition that affects 16% of women in the United States alone. Even though it is very difficult to diagnose because it doesn't show up in any tests or as an infection, trust me, it's real. And it's painful. I managed to heal myself from the most painful effects vulvodynia and I'm still on a healing journey. Another area of my life where my judgment of my own sexuality hurt me a lot was in my creativity and in my work. Because I was in complete denial of my own sexuality, my sexual power, and my own sexiness, I suppressed it. When you suppress such a deep and primal part of yourself and deny yourself this power that is so natural to you, you will also end up suppressing your other natural God-given talents. I was so blocked in my creativity that couldn't write in this blog for years nor create new videos for my YouTube channel. Since this is my work, I was completely blocked in my career as well. How Did I Stop Judging My Sexuality? (Personal Story) Through a long process of self-discovery, I realized that I stopped allowing my sexuality after a breakup years ago. I blocked myself even more and more through misunderstanding many spiritual concepts as I went along my journey. I'm still working on the spiritual understanding of Karma and sex but I'll share the story of the breakup with you here. In my early 20s, I had a short but intense relationship and went through a not-so-dramatic but deeply scarring breakup. That's when I started to shut down my sexuality. Since that time I blamed the guy for “taking advantage of me”. I was convinced that I was innocent and naive. I believed that he saw a young girl who had a huge crush on him and wanted to see how far he could take it. In reality, I now realize that wanted to “have him” more than he wanted me. When I think about it now, I was attracted to him not because of his power, or his looks, or his money, but because of his innocence and vulnerability. The sex was amazing and I got just as much out of it as he did, if not more. Now, more than a decade later, I see that we were quite equal in that aspect. Finally after more than 15 years, I realize that he didn’t take advantage of me more than I did of him. Here is where the problem started. It was a relationship that didn't work out no matter how sexy I was, or how good the sex was. In my young mind, my sexuality just didn't work to keep us together, so I thought my sexuality is good for nothing. I slowly started to tone it down until eventually, I disowned a big part of myself. It was only after realizing this and accepting it could I start to own my sexuality again. Now that I'm starting to own it and learn more about it without judgement or fear, I am starting to see that there is hope. My creativity is returning and my career is becoming more solidified. My health is improving and will continue to improve. Your Turn Have you repressed your sexuality in one way or another? The quickest way to know is to check whether your creativity is blocked or not. If you are not flowing and productive and can't take real steps towards your goals, then you might be denying your sexuality. Please share your story in the comments below. You will be helping others with the same struggle.