With the New Year, we tend to make a hundred and one resolutions and one of them is usually to improve our relationships. I wrote these dating affirmations with one particular friend in mind. I love her so much. It makes my heart flutter when I see her happy and smiling, when she is truly happy and not just being smiley. It hurts me a little to see her unhappy because of guys. It makes me sad to see her give her incredible power as a beautiful woman and lovely human being away to guys.
I hope this post reaches her.
I hope she reads these affirmations because although they are about dating, they will cause her to love herself first and then any man who is lucky enough to be of her liking will be the luckiest man alive.
Dating Affirmation 1: I’m going to give away my affection for free.
Next time you meet someone you like and respect, I want you to commit to give as much genuine appreciation for this person as you possibly can. Be thankful for the time you spend together. Be happy about seeing that person. Appreciate their unique story.
By giving away your love, I DON’T mean give away your power and independence. What I mean is give your affection to this person without expecting a specific reaction back, which leads us to the next affirmation…
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Dating Affirmation 2: I will date without expectation.
Let go of your expectations like “he should have called me five times by now” or “if he likes me, why doesn’t he text me ALL through the day?”
Yes, it’s hard to let go of habits you might have had with your ex but remember not all people are the same. This is probably the hardest thing to do in life, not just relationships, but LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS and you will be a lot happier. While you are at it, let go of the stronghold your parents’ expectations are of you as well and you’ll literally feel the weight on your shoulders get lighter. (There is a deep spiritual lesson here by the way. Explore this further.)
Dating Affirmation 3: I commit to being detached
This one might at first seem a bit funny because you would normally assume that being in a relationship is getting involved in an attachment. There is another spiritual lesson here about being detached. That’s what Buddha preached, isn’t it?
Dating Affirmation 4: I will be independent and not codependent
I learnt of the concept of codependency from Gabby Bernstein in her book Add more ~ing to your life, and the concept changed how I saw my relationship with every single person in my world. Codependency is when a person bases their identity on their relationship with someone else. This is a popular topic of relationship psychology but its not talked about that often. I myself for example was in more than one codependent relationship over a six year period. Even my relationship with my mom was codependent (as it tends to happen in South Asian families a lot). I urge you to please do some research into what codependency is and make sure this year, you remove it from your relationships and your life. This book was also very eye-opening for me: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself.
Dating Affirmation 5: I will love myself first.
Sometimes people need you to show them how to love you and that’s why knowing how to love yourself is so crucial. When you show yourself love and respect your needs and desires, the man that you are dating will have no other choice but to do the same towards you.
In a relationship, because it is a unit, when one person is “not quite right”, it hurts the whole unit. When you put his needs before yours, you are unknowingly hurting him as well as the relationship. A good relationship can’t thrive on one person’s happiness and fulfilment alone. It needs both people to meet their own needs. It needs you to show love to yourself so you can show him how to love you. It needs you to love yourself so you love him more. It needs you to love yourself so you will love the relationship more.
Would you add anything to this list of affirmations if you could? Put it in the comments and if it touches my heart, I will expand the list.
Lots of love to you!
Photo Credit: My Flickr.