A few months ago, I wrote a post about depression. I shared that one way to find out why you are depressed is by asking yourself specific reasons for why you might be depressed. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. The post received this lovely comment from a 64 year old reader named Sandy. She wrote:
Very nice. thank you for sharing. I am a 64 yr old woman and I pulled my self out of a 4 year depression. Glad you got a handle, and so young. I started telling myself that what ever is making me so sad and hopeless is something so close to me I cannot see it. Long story short, after much research and working on trying to find the source of my deep sadness I discovered I did not have proper support persons in my life. I had been working alone in my careers for many years, spending my days alone, working and really, that is your life, your day time hours working those many hour working. One needs to have a good support system, a couple true friends who let you be you and like you the way you are, who will listen to you, and you gotta be there for them too. Someone to watch your back and you watch there. Do not allow yourself to be isolated. We are pack animals and dna history, very cellular structure of millions of years is geared to make us be in a tribe or pack so to survive. To make sure we do that, we get pain, emotional pain which is really telling you….” get with the pack so to keep out of danger.”
I think it is very important for females to have a very close female friends,s good friend who listens. Men need a man friend I think. One needs to also help others. That’s what I found out. The modern world forces us to move away from our villages for work. We become isolated without true bonded relationships in our daily lives, some of us. The happiest people have family, lots of family and they get together. Those people live longer too. So make your own bonded relationships so to be your family or tribe if you do not have family. It will help a lot. Isolation can cause early dementia.
I loved this comment so much that I needed to give it its own article. Sandy has some very valid points and I have to admit, growing up throughout my teen years and throughout my twenties, I’ve always had a “Emergency Depression Help Team”. I had an interesting group of people on this emergency team including an old high school crush who would always sympathize with me, my younger cousin who was ever loving, a great listener and older than her years, a friend who was more comfortable being a “chat” friend than a face to face friend and my mom among a few others. When I got really depressed, I would get in touch with my team and bitch, complain, mope or cry. They were always there to help me.
Building your own “Emergency Depression Help Team”
Who do you have on your “Emergency Depression Help Team”? How many people are in this team of yours? Can you name each person? Write down in your journal who these people are, there is no need to email them to tell them, but it’s important that you know who they are and what kind of support they provide you with. Send them a silent thank you if you please.
As you change and get over your persistent depressions, these supporting relationships will inevitably change. Some of the same people who loved to hear you out when you were depressed will not enjoy hearing from you when you are happy. It’s not because they are malicious, but that just may be the topics they like to advice about so when you don’t have a sad topic, they wont be able to relate. Be mindful of that and in those situations, it’s best to let them drift away and maintain distance.
Use your “Emergency Depression Help Team” as you need to. They will help you when it feels like you can’t help yourself. Don’t forget to send a silent Thank You from your heart to those who are supportive to you when you need it the most. In the comments below, you can send them an annonymous Thank You! I am positive that the vibration will reach them and they will feel it.
I want to take this opportunity to thank my old friend A.B. Thank you for helping me through all those years!